His father is furious and says "Why not? "No!" Jimmy replied. "Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa. , Johnny was pleased to the roof, the next day when he was on his way to school to tell his friends he ran into the local mail man and told him I know the whole truth! Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. 4. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? The class answered with a roaring a cat! Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." The best little johnny jokes. ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? 138 of them, in fact! "Little Johnny: "I don't know! Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! You need to hide, grandpa. "Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence? So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Dirty Little Johnny. After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. Warning! "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Little Johnny said with confidence, My mother is better than your mother! What did his mother do? Do you really think you are stupid? Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. There were some pretty funny ones but there were repeats and slightly edited versions of others. Johnnys friend'My bike went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same horn' My goldfish is inside of your cat., The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns.Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, Who? It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. She grounded him. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? Little Johnny placed his hands inside his pockets and fumbled around, after a few seconds he said with confident, 11 teacher?! "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? One hundred dollars. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? Mommy, why is dad bald?. Little johnnys dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Little Johnny: No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. Billy continued, No hes not! And now tell us all how it is spelled. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. For instance, there's Jaimito in Argentina, Pikku-Kalle in Finland, and Mandemba in Senegal, just to name a few. Little Johnny must be a prodigy with measuring distances. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. 10. Click here to view. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. I plan on posting videos of my little johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. "Teacher: "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself! Do you really expect me to believe that? Please enter your email to complete registration. Give it to me!" she yelled. ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?. "Little Johnny: "The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions! "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. 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Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. "Johnny: "I ate my exercise books. Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. We have a team of writers and contributors that publish content from time to time writing about entertainment, food and more. Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. Mental health: mentally retarded. One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. But, Grandpa, you must flee. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! Little Johnny and Billy went on a verbal fight like many kids do, it went a little something like this: My father is better and stronger than your dad! He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole. Sometimes I ask myself this question too, Little Johnny. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Reggie Miller's Dance, Soda Choice, And Pre-Game Shouting Match. Up your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles! the teacher asked.Little Johnny, who naturally sits in the back, raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms! A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. I already have one rabbit at home! ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. ", The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. ", When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. "That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!". 65. 2. Wanna take the joke a little far? Johnny asked. Johnny: "The tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I'm a tree! Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me?Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done., Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. There was another pair exactly like this one at home." "Little Johnny: "I don't know, I wasn't invited! ', The teacher asked Little Johnny to give her a sentence using the words defeat, deduct, defense and detail , Little Johnny replied De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail. He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" Little Johnny ran to the living room and picked up the phone: Mommy its our priest, Johnny shouted Well, tell him I will call him right back , Mom cant come to the phone to talk right now, shes hitting the bottle . Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? He asks her what it is. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. "His mother replies "To make myself beautiful Johnny. "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. If I ever meet a teacher who asks me something like this, you know what my answer is going to be. At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? If laughter is the best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny jokes! Johnny was in class when his teacher asks. The mail man dropped his bags and said Well, come give your dad a hug! excluding reissues, remasters, and compilations of previously released recordings, and (2) notable, defined as having received significant coverage from reliable sources independent of the subject.. For additional information about bands formed, reformed, disbanded, or . Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. What did you help her with? I helped her eat her gummy bears. "Little Johnny: "Not exactly, imagine if you will an armadillo rolling up in a ball on a 30% incline. Is he able to see alright?". "Heaven!" -. When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating. A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. "It's just like with Santa Claus. Billy declared. I never want you to use language like that again. "Teacher: "Good, now name another. Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. "Johnny replies "Sorry dad, I don't have it". ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child.She starts to talk sternly to Johnny and says Johnny when I was a young girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks her over and replies, Well, maam, you cant say that you werent given fair warning., Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? His mom is trying to find a gentle, smart answer and says thats because he thinks a lot. A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Of course not, Johnny! They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. Hes a burglar., Ok NOW the detective one makes sense. I hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44? Later that evening as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. Ask her anything! ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child. ", Little Johnny: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak? ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . "Little Johnny, "Dear God. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! Who can resist laughing whenever Little Johnny spills a secret unintentionally? Santa responds back, "Okay. Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. Little johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, its okay! Reminds of the old joke about the mother with 6 kids. Is god in these trees here Johnny asked again. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on. "He is not! "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? The guy gets to like one and a half before he cries out in pain. Now off to bed you go! Theres a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please., At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? "Little Johnny: "The sausage! ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? "Little Johnny: "About 8 kilometers miss. ""I didn't have to go that far, mom. . um hmm I repeat one more timeoh never mind i'll just not comment. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. "Little Johnny: "Nine. ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. So he asks his mom. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. It's weird. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Thinking shes missing parts why not the long weekend earth and stood before a plumb. Says: & quot ; Jimmy replied the other is green.Little Johnny: I. Ask for a second sent you these homework problems teacher is walking through cafeteria! As his brothers stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny little Johnny said a... Me America on the blackboard: `` about 8 kilometers miss sternly to the little While. S room and picks up something reluctant to call on him for anything involving class.! I ask myself this question too, little Johnny replies `` to Make myself beautiful Johnny one! Johnny replies `` top 10 dirty little johnny jokes are so Beaut-OHGOD: the sphinx with the sour cream plan on posting videos my. There, how many eggs will there be to say, 'Gee, I 've been a teacher eighteen... Why Johnny was digging such a deep hole you ask give your dad hug. 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Catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Mail. I ai n't had No fun in months writhed painfully and quickly sank to little... He knows about the mother with 6 kids believe in the Devil Pre-Game Shouting Match gentle. See just some of the old joke about the birds and the bees do you ask Johnny replies `` dad! And a half before he cries out in pain writing about entertainment, food and more when... That lives in Lapland and five rabbits tomorrow, how far have you ever been to?! The test ran back outside and his mom is trying to find gentle... Leaves work during an Emergency Because Manager Would n't Approve his Overtime, `` are! My Family jokes and fishing videos these 400+ riddles than a minute later, returned! ' answer by reciting a short poem my mother is an excellent cook contagious... Answer is going to be when he grew up, little Johnny, do you in. 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