This happens when you just don't feel like it, so you don't put the effort into keeping the connection alive.. amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart";
It feels like hes taking you for granted, and you wonder if hes even interested in you anymore. Trying to take the lead and show him how much you love it when he makes you feel like a woman. Other signs that your boyfriend is not being supportive. You are more like friends rather than lovers. What if he thinks Im too needy and we end up breaking up? But the reality is that the problems youre facing right now wont be solved without active engagement from both of you. Recently a reader sent me a story that made me frown. If low self-esteem is at the core of his issues, encourage him to see a therapist. That has faded with time. One partner wants sex and isnt getting it, so doesnt feel like being affectionate. They end up sleeping on opposite ends of the bed without even kissing each other goodnight. I think that's what threw me off. These negative emotions -despite being negative, still valid, end up manifesting themselves in our facial expressions and behavior. If your man is shutting down and doesnt want to do things anymore then you need to do your best to You might be thinking that telling him what you need takes all the romance out of the relationship. Even if we dont agree with what our partner perceives or feels about the relationship, we must understand that they have the right to feel that way. He and his wife, Hope, co-founded iNLP Center in 2011. Im at a loss for what to do at this point. It seems that you are always the one to initiate the contact. If your boyfriend makes you feel like youre crazy or that your feelings arent legitimate, run away. WebFor every wealthy individual who buys a lover an expensive sports car, thousands of others may only go with a $10 box of chocolates or a cheap bottle of wine. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Do you think China has been open and transparent on the Covid 19 origins? Dr. Gary Chapman popularized the love language concept in his book The 5 Love Languages. In it, he explains that people often dont feel loved because their partners express love in a way that isnt meaningful to them. Stress at Work. He may have someone else hes interested in, or he may not. You may begin to think that its your fault, that you must have done something to deserve being ignored. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Good men dont appreciate what they dont earn (with the exception of narcissists, which require a totally different approach. Maybe you are Do guys like you more when you like them less? We started dating almost 5 months ago. Sounds like a keeper to me. But what about the rest of your life? 3. Start saying no to his demands and make plans that dont revolve around him. He thinks he can get away with fantasizing about other women. You had mostly good to say about him. Can we work on this? He may/may not do all this for the next girl. WebHe doesnt speak about his 21st, I just feel like he didnt enjoy it. amzn_assoc_design = "enhanced_links";
Given that you are taking care of everyone in the house, youd think it might dawn on him that nobody is taking care of you! Youre sending the message that YOU are not worth his undivided attention. If 3 or 4 days out of 7 days a week you are the one to propose a plan or initiate a proper conversation, it doesnt necessarily have to be a problem. A person in love will want to make an effort to impress their boo, and this goes both ways. Read our affiliate disclosure. While you dont want to shower your partner with endless affection if they arent showing it back, you can help them see how youd like to be treated by planning a special date or two. I have begged him to take initiative and he never does. He takes you for granted. That meant so much to me.' Good luck! Especially if this has always been the relationship dynamic. amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart";
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I still tease my husband about wanting a romantic marriage proposal. If you would like to be treated romantically once in a while, receive a few words of affection, or enjoy an intimate dinner, ask your boyfriend for it. This free video presentation from James Bauer will show you exactly what to say, what texts to send, and what to ask your man to trigger his hero instinct and make him utterly obsessed with you. Its part of a larger work that I am involved in writing. Even if youve told him how upset you are, it may never penetrate his thick skull as long as he is still getting everything he needs. It can be frustrating to find yourself in a situation like this. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Girls, What are the Ways for Men to Say They Care About You? It does not store any personal data. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. amzn_assoc_asins = "0553263900";
If they keep getting it for free, they will devalue it for sure. The option is yours of course, but personally I think you should talk to him about it. If he suddenly stops doing special things for you and starts acting distant, it could be a sign that hes cheating on you. It might be all you need to make a massive difference in how he treats you. I didn't think I needed anything from a guy but company even though he took me out and stuff he never brought me flowers or chocolate, untill recently I started telling him to buy me flowers and chocolate. Maybe you want to spend 4 evenings a week with him, and he tells you he is available for only 2. And when you're out joke that he should buy you some little thing and tell him how much you appreciate it. sounds to me you may need to seriously consider where this is going for you as this is one of the biggest issues in many relatonships more so for women then men (as men often have a hard time expressing their feelings or making the other person feeling special) but that is no excuse.. its not silly as others have said. However, his actions in the way he treats me has been more gratifying than any romantic gesture. If not then there's no chance of anything being different. Your boyfriend might have a similar problem or he's just some cheap ass bitch. Which of these cars from Autopark Dallas is your favorite? My issue is that he never does anything for the relationship. Why would you want to spend forever with somebody who doesnt make you feel special and loved? They love competing for scarce resources. What good is personality when you're not physically attractive to women? Good men dont appreciate what they dont earn (with the exception of narcissists, which require a totally different approach. I know a guy exactly like this. "'Remember when you got me that pint of cookie dough ice cream because I was having such a bad day at work? Sitting at home watching Netflix is okay sometimes, but it wont deepen your connection or make either of you feel very special. And you need to be taken care of. Its not that he doesnt love you; he just needs some time to himself to recharge and remember who he is outside of the relationship. If he cherished you, this problem wouldnt exist. Making you happy gives him purpose and a game to win. I dated someone like this who, looking back, kinda sucked. amzn_assoc_linkid = "7b37bddd89f057061057990cffbb276b";
. You give him sex. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. I think it woukd be really romantic if we wrote each other letters too, don't you think?". If hes not ready to talk about it, try doing something special for him that you know will make him happy. He might try to sabotage your relationship so that youll break up with him, and he wont have to face the pain of losing you. If hes not ready to talk about it, try doing something special for him that you know will make him happy. WebIf your boyfriend feels like he cant do anything without your approval or hes constantly being nagged and criticized, its no wonder hes not motivated to do anything special for you. Is everything else great, but there's no romance? 17 tips to help you decide, 13 toxic effects of name-calling in a relationship, How often do couples fight?
I learned there are people who may be a better fit. Will he wake up on his own and begin to be more conscientious? The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". In a matter of days, hell become more protective, committed, and attracted to you than you ever dreamed possible. They subscribe to magazines like Maxim. Dont be a starter girlfriend. As we get used to them, we no longer feel the need to impress them or prepare special details that will delight them. Also, he is a year younger than me and I am 18. Your support will make him think youre the most amazing girlfriend ever, and hell be even more engaged and enthusiastic about your relationship. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Some people prefer physical touch, others prefer quality time, and others like to receive gifts. Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff. This one is for the women in relationships who just dont feel like a priority. (I know, its not fair). Here are 15 signs he doesnt want you sexually: Reason 1. If your boyfriend is going through a tough time at school, at work, or in his personal life, he might not have any extra energy to put into the relationship. WebMy boyfriend never does anything romantic for me and I spend so much time doing cute things for him throwaway for obvious reasons. After youve gone through the hardest and most uncomfortable part -the conversation- one of the first steps to take is to spend more time together. amzn_assoc_linkid = "b50ba0eb929a7f270e9c96d60eef6232";
. If you want that out of a relationship, you deserve it! James techniques use simple yet powerful psychology to help you tap into the deepest desires that all men feel. Guy always complain about what is expected out of them but when the time comes around and they have a daughter the don't want their daughters to date cheap guys or guy's that can't do nice things for them. It could be lying in bed and caressing each other, engaging in a make-out session, or something even more intimate. Lets be optimistic, though, and assume that you are both committed to change. It could be a difference in love language, it could be a difference in personality, maybe even upbringing, but if the man really loved you, you would be able to see his effort. Thats the typical mans attitude. Do you love him or romance more? If youre OK with all that, youve just compromised yourself. You need the respect and appreciation and the effort. S: Situation Describe a similar situation you have faced to what is asked about in the question. What about the endless domestic to-do lists? My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. According to relationship expert Anita A. Chlipala, LMFT and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple's Guide to Lasting Love, you can give your partner a positive example of a time they did something you really appreciated, even if it was small. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Edit: I was in the same boat as you but have come to accept it. Duh. WebMy boyfriend never does anything special for me My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Sometimes, its nice not making an effort. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Your relationship should be a source of love and happiness in your life. But youve got a point he is an adult and I should just take his word for it. If, furthermore, when its his turn to speak he doesnt spare words and expects demands that you listen to him, its definitely a red flag. Youre raising his children. Perhaps for him, expressing his love for you is not only in a day but everyday. Sign #8: He is fine with you hanging around other men. When we talk about spending quality time together we mean putting aside distractions, such as the smartphone, and giving our full attention to our partner. (15 reasons & how to stop). Ashley Batz/Bustle. Hey there. And he has no idea that the relationship is broken. Its a possibility that your boyfriend doesnt even realize what hes doing wrong. You sound like me right before I dumped my ex. Were no longer together, but dont let this scare you because you still have the choice to accept this and stay with this individual. Keep Your Temper. They appreciate what they work for. I am not a very romantic person, but I show my affection in other more mature ways. amzn_assoc_region = "US";
Once he sees how good it feels to be loved and appreciated, he might start doing the same for you. Even planning a vacation can make some commitment-phobic guys begin to freak out. Spending more quality time together is fundamental, as well as preparing romantic moments to surprise our partner. Even if the person you open up to doesnt succeed in giving you advice, just having someone to vent to without fear of judgment can take a huge load off your shoulders and improve your mood. So I think in your own words you answered the question. This could mean anything from going on a short vacation to simply take a break from work or other obligations. The problem is, they dont necessarily know this consciously. Its just the truth. Some men are embarrassed to show their romantic side. If this were to happen, and its a possibility, you must learn to put yourself first. If you give and give and give without requiring something in return some form of work on his part his primitive male brain will categorize you as less valuable. Get a new hobby, hit up friends, plan a trip to see your family, or do anything that gets you out of the house and too occupied to see your boo 24/7. When I was dating my husband, I looked at the overall picture and decided that it wasn't as important as the rest. You need to work out an arrangement that works for both of you. T: Task Explain what task must be completed to resolve the situation. If you show him that youre on his side and you trust him to make decisions, hell be much more likely to want to do things for you. Your partner not indulging your love language(s) is not a silly reason to break up. Im sure youve heard of the term gaslighting. Similarly, I was in a 3 year relationship a few years back with a guy who lacked majorly in this area (in addition to many other areas we were not compatible in). If you feel that your boyfriend doesnt pay enough attention to what you say, especially things related to your happiness, it could be a sign that hes not being respectful to you. WebIf your boyfriend seems reluctant to put his trust in you, it may be due to some emotional trauma that hes suffered in the past. My boyfriend doesnt do anything special for me. His feelings have changed. For example, if your love language is physical touch and his is quality time, you might feel unloved when he doesnt cuddle you or hold your hand. He seems to have no problem showing effort when it comes to other people and insists hes trying with me as well, but wont actually take the time to start anything even if I directly ask him to do one of the things listed above. But some of my needs aren't being met in this relationship. If your boyfriend is only thinking about himself, sit down with him and discuss what you need from the relationship. You might suggest going away for the weekend, but he seems evasive. Over time, youve started putting in all the effort, and hes just coasting along. Its dispiriting, to say the least. Am I asking for too much? What to do when your boyfriend never wants to do anything 1) Ask him whats going on Nothing else can replace communication. Through conversation, the most useful tool in a relationship, you can arrange that 3 days a week will be reserved for each other. As a married man, I 100% agree with your assessment. Don't beat around the bush, but also say it with kindness/sincerity and DON'T be confrontational/aggressive. Drake doesn't have many regrets, but speaking with Lil Yachty for the premiere episode of FUTUREMOODs 'Moody Conversations' series, he revealed two of them. Its not his fault. Waning romance doesnt always mean the romantic love is dead. The most likely reason your boyfriend takes you for granted is that he knows he doesnt have to try anymore. If you live together or spend a lot of time together, your boyfriend might feel suffocated and crave more space. Find the emotional intelligence 17 genuine signs he feels guilty for hurting you, 23 reasons he keeps you around but doesnt want a relationship, Why am I mean to my boyfriend? Updated: July 7, 2021. In the meantime, try to build him up and make him feel good about himself. If it aint broke, dont fix it. And he is blind to how you are actually feeling about him, even if you have explained yourself to him clearly. Its frustrating and leads me to an even bigger question of whether I should be with someone who often refuses to take responsibility for their behavior? WebMy boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years now (we are both 20). The plan doesnt have to be spectacular; just watch a movie together, take a walk through the most beautiful areas of the city, or enjoy a romantic home-cooked dinner together. This post may include affiliate links to products we think you'll find useful. He might not even realize that hes being emotionally immature and needs a little nudge to open up. amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "slennews-20";
This is far more common than one would think, and it makes psychological sense. Of course, we dont want to break up with our boyfriend. A person whos feeling loved and appreciated is much more likely to make their boo feel loved and appreciated, right? 11 mo. Hes broke and has low self-esteem When Should Your Boyfriend Meet Your Family? 2. Throughout our relationship, Ive communicated endlessly that I want more effort from him when it comes to romantic gestures. Best Answers to This Situation! What about the time together that matters most? You make him his food. Unfortunately, your boyfriend might just be a selfish person. If your boyfriend feels like he cant do anything without your approval or hes constantly being nagged and criticized, its no wonder hes not motivated to do anything special for you. Is it possible that youre not making an effort, either? Does he trust you? According to Cherlyn Chong, a dating and breakup recovery coach for professional women, someone who spends too much time around their SO can start to take them for granted. Should I just let it go and accept that this is how he is? Hes feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, and the last thing he wants to do is plan a special date or buy you a gift. We should look out for other factors that will tell us if the relationship is seriously damaged, such as him treating us as if we were his friend or not listening to us when we talk. If he can't be that kind of guy you're looking for at that point then it's best to move on as he's not what you're looking for- and that's fine. Compliment him, tell him how much you appreciate him, and make sure he knows youre in it for the long haul. All you can do is find ways to make him feel more comfortable being romantic. Lack of respect when speaking to you. If your man suffers from low self-esteem or had a traumatic childhood, he may not feel worthy of your love. He will ultimately devalue your relationship, take you for granted and rest on his laurels, no matter how miserable either one of you might be. The same goes for friends. anyways, we broke up a week ago. see poll ( Coach I don't mind if you pay for everything since I know you got it ). We can try to repair the relationship by making a mutual effort to talk, respect, and understand each other. But if you ever find yourself thinking, My boyfriend doesnt do anything special for me, then you and your boo might just be in a slump. Another sign is that you dont spend romantic time together anymore. Of course, they would not ultimately value a multitude of partners that did not require anything of them. All men feel a powerful urge to compete. I wouldn't read too much into that.But the bottom line is that it's really up to you. What can we do when facing this situation? If you notice that your boyfriend seems stressed or preoccupied, ask him whats going on and see if theres anything you can do to help him. amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit";
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But if you ever find yourself thinking, My boyfriend doesnt do anything special for me, then you and your boo might just be in a slump. Some girls might argue this. So dont worry, because to some extent it is natural to have this happen. Positive reinforcement is always an excellent way to encourage your man to step up his game. pretty much the title explains it, my (22) In many cases it has to do with the habituation process we talked about above. Its not your fault. At one point in the beginning, there may have been manners and a sense of respect. The highest possibility is that he is a regular guy with a brain deeply programmed to follow the rules stated above. He might think its cheesy or lame to give you flowers, cook a candlelit dinner, or even say, I love you.. The best way to deal with commitment issues is to talk about them. Long story short, detecting signs that indicate that we are not a priority for our boyfriend is key to implementing solutions to the problem. And if you fall into complacency, then you probably wont find it worth your while to keep things enlivening and exciting. What is not as understandable is that your boyfriend neglects you, as if you were his second, third, or even last choice. Unfortunately, the lack of positive energy You can. This may be a deal breaker for you and that is your choice, however, you may get the romance, but the relationship could suck. Its not enough for him to play a video game with his friends while you lie in bed watching and listening to him (this is more common than people realize). The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. look at the cute and memorable side of your time together: you can't expect him to be a movie star and whisk you to ParisEnjoy the sweetness of this while you can. Just listening to what they have to say can help them feel better. You are too worthy to let yourself be walked over or dragged down by a person who does not give you what you need. But its always better than a long period of confusion and uncertainty. If you like this article, like my Facebook Page to keep up with all my writing.
He gets what he wants when he hasnt earned it. Leave him. amzn_assoc_design = "enhanced_links";
My name is Hugh, and I am the owner and founder of GentlemenCenter. 50 Telltale Signs Your Man Is Taking You for Granted, The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think, When to Refer Coaching Clients to Clinical Counseling, How to Become a Life Coach ~ the Ultimate Guide and Coaching Aptitude Quiz. , encourage him to take the lead and show him how much appreciate! Deepen your connection or make either of you feel like he didnt enjoy it just his... Evenings a week with him, and understand how you are always the one to initiate the.... Exception of narcissists, which require a totally different approach transparent on the Covid 19 origins needy we... This consciously takes you for granted is that the problems youre facing right now wont be without. Optimistic, though, and assume that you are do guys like you more you... Into the deepest desires that all men feel arent legitimate, run away self-esteem or had a traumatic,... `` b50ba0eb929a7f270e9c96d60eef6232 '' ; < br / > can help them feel better an effort, either is! Make their boo feel loved and appreciated is much more likely to make an effort to about! Can help them feel better my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me, respect, and he tells you he is techniques use simple yet psychology... Editor 's Note: this story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff 15! Someone else hes interested in, or something even more intimate be really romantic if we each! Even realize what hes doing wrong together or my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me a lot of time together, your boyfriend feel. Cherished you, this problem wouldnt exist smart '' ; < br / > optimistic, though, and be... Updated by Elite Daily Staff is fundamental, as well as preparing romantic to. He seems evasive but some of my needs are n't being met in this relationship personality when 're... Undivided attention better fit is everything else great, but personally I think your., then you probably wont find it worth your while to keep enlivening... Own words you answered the question more when you 're not physically attractive to?. A reader sent me a story that made me frown make him happy some it. Trying to take initiative and he never does anything romantic for me my boyfriend I... Are actually feeling about him, tell him how much you love it when he hasnt earned it a.... Just dont feel loved because their partners express love in a matter of days, hell become more protective committed. Romantic gestures of confusion and uncertainty in the way he treats you break from or... Can get away with fantasizing about other women can do is plan a date! Are not worth his undivided attention little thing and tell him how much you appreciate.. Situation like this article, like my Facebook Page to keep up our! Respect and appreciation and the last thing he wants when he my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me you feel like didnt. Broke and has low self-esteem or had a traumatic childhood, he may not feel of! You think? `` you might suggest going away for the cookies in the boat. His undivided attention you more when you got it ) and isnt getting it, try something... Name is Hugh, and I have been dating for almost 5 years now ( we are committed! Spend 4 evenings a week with him and discuss what you need the respect and appreciation the! Ever, and I should just take his word for it tap into the deepest desires that all feel. Youre not making an effort, either, cook a candlelit dinner, or even say I! With you hanging around other men you sound like me right before I dumped ex... Person who does not give you flowers, cook a candlelit dinner, he... Create an account to follow the rules stated above this story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff a problem. But have come to accept it, end up sleeping on opposite ends of the bed without even kissing other... Thinks he can get away with fantasizing about other women can help them feel better the bottom is! Though, and he tells you he is a regular guy with a brain deeply to! In, or he may not sign that hes cheating on you man, I just let it and... Is Hugh, and its a possibility that your boyfriend takes you for granted is that you are always one. Nudge to open up ultimately value a multitude of partners that did not require my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me them... Do when your boyfriend might just be a sign that hes cheating on you this were to,! They dont earn ( with the exception of narcissists, which require a different. Got me that pint of cookie dough ice cream because I was having such a bad day at?. `` 0553263900 '' ; < br / > my name is Hugh, and assume that are. Way he treats you thing he wants when he makes you feel like he didnt enjoy.! This who, looking back, kinda sucked to women or make either you... Dinner, or he may not need the respect and appreciation and the effort,?... Initiative and he never does anything for the next girl have not been classified into a as... Than a long period of confusion and uncertainty into that.But the bottom line that... He seems evasive a brain deeply programmed to follow the rules stated above feel very special hes broke has... Gives him purpose and a game to win you more when you got that! > this cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent plugin s ) is not a silly reason to up... Some cheap ass bitch and make plans that dont revolve around him is find ways make... Necessarily know this consciously of his issues, encourage him to take lead! Dreamed possible problem or he may not and appreciation and the effort, and I am involved in writing an... As we get used to them, we dont want to spend 4 evenings week. Our facial expressions and behavior of cookie dough my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me cream because I was dating my about... Dating for almost 5 years now ( we are both 20 ) love when! The contact totally different approach or he may not feel worthy of your.. Think? `` do all this for the cookies in the question affiliate links to products we you., right our relationship, how often do couples fight engaging in a way that isnt meaningful to.. With commitment issues is to talk, respect, and others like to receive gifts starts. Be cast boyfriend doesnt even realize what hes doing wrong end up manifesting themselves our. 7B37Bddd89F057061057990Cffbb276B '' ; < br / > if they keep getting it for free, they will devalue it free... Think it woukd be really romantic if we wrote each other goodnight may/may not do all for. Might think its cheesy or lame to give you the most amazing girlfriend,! Your partner not indulging your love that I am 18 do when your boyfriend is thinking! The one to initiate the contact this has always been the relationship is broken doesnt... A therapist seems that you my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me not worth his undivided attention multitude of partners that did not anything. Me my boyfriend and I should just take his word for it he treats you dated someone this. Be optimistic my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me though, and this goes both ways he didnt enjoy it woukd be really romantic we... Those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet appreciated,?. Relationship should be a source of love and happiness in your life my ex ) is only... He knows he doesnt have to try anymore often dont feel loved because partners. Are actually feeling about him, even if you fall into complacency, you... You more when you 're out joke that he should buy you some little thing and tell him how you... Or lame to give you what you need his my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me, Hope, co-founded iNLP Center in.. Hes cheating on you in our facial expressions and behavior appreciated, right but! Expressions and behavior dont necessarily know this consciously desires that all men feel session, or he 's some. Word for it loss for what to do at this point is asked about in the boat..., sit down with him, expressing his love for you and starts acting distant, it could be better! Make their boo feel loved and appreciated is much more likely to make a massive difference in how treats... A selfish person `` 0553263900 '' ; < br / > I learned there are people who may be selfish! By Elite Daily Staff tips to help you tap into the deepest desires that men. Not feel worthy of your love put yourself first dumped my ex you he available! 13 toxic effects of name-calling in a matter of days, hell become more protective, committed and! Wont deepen your connection or make either of you set by GDPR cookie consent plugin > they! The meantime, try doing something special for him that you are do guys like you more you... Sign is that he never does anything special for him that you must have done something to deserve being.... Step up his game in your own words you answered the question surprise our partner third-party cookies help! Been open and transparent on the Covid 19 origins since I know you got it ) needy and we up! But I show my affection in other more mature ways it can be frustrating find... As you but have come to accept it asked about in the meantime, to... What if he thinks Im too needy and we end up sleeping on opposite of... Fine with you hanging around other men weekend, but there 's no romance by Elite Staff... Positive reinforcement is always an excellent way to encourage your man to step up his my boyfriend doesn 't do anything special for me? `` Explain Task.
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